You Think YOU'RE Stressed??

Well I'M SUPERMEGAULTRA stressed!!!!!!

So...I started ACO training. For those of you not in the know (and I'm pretty sure that's all of you), an ACO is an Ambulance Communications Officer. So, in Ontario, when you call 9-1-1, they ask you "Police, Fire or Ambulance?" And when you say "Ambulance", well ladies and gents...if you live in my area, then you might just hear me at the other end saying "Ambulance, what is your emergency?" And believe me when I tell you...saying those words, and everything that comes after, is SO VASTLY more complicated than you could EVER imagine!

Right now, I want you all to call your local ambulance communications people, and I want you to thank them for what they do! Except no don't because those people are BUSY! They have people's LIVES in their hands!

This week I began my training, which is pretty much 8 hours of school for 6 weeks. I made it through the first week...and I'm going to say I made it through with flying colours. We have to have above 70% on every assignment and exam (of which there is one or more daily) to be allowed to stay. And the benefit to staying is that they pay crazy well! My place is very secure right now, based on book marks, but man...that could change at any time! We did our first simulated calls this week...and although my instructor told me I did great, and that my voice was "lovely" on my calls...it's getting HARD! It's stressful when you know there's someone on the other end of that phone, counting on what you're doing and who you're sending!

Right now, I'm sitting here drinking wine and relaxing for the first time in 5 days. Tomorrow I'll be back to studying, but right now...whew...I need this!

That being said, I am having the time of my life! I'm meeting a bunch of fun new people, having a lot of laughs, and well...frankly...it's just nice to get out of the house! Also, being in class for 7 hours out of the day, and being in the car for an hour to and fro, well...it's REALLY helped to curb any grazing I might have been doing! I weighed in the other day and I was down 3lbs, AND I'm experiencing my menses (sorry...I just HATE the acronym TOM...*shudder) so that can't be bad, right??

Down side? I think stress has allowed me to catch a cold...but I have experienced NONE of this tightness you people speak of. Dammit! I could use some! I actually think I really need a fill, but not for at least 10 weeks (training until then...with a little NYC mixed in...you coming??)

So...Today...

...I went over to the Old Navy. Because as it happens, I've found myself a little part time job, and I need some clothes for the 6 weeks of training. Yeah yeah, you read that right...I am, in theory, gainfully employed...and NOT in the funeral industry! After all these years, I'm finally going to be putting my BA in Communications to some use. I'm working in the Central Ambulance Communication Centre. Part time. Will give more details as they become available. But back to the trip to Old Navy!

I'm going to need some "business casual" clothing for the next few weeks. Well all my work clothes are A) super fancy, B) black, and C) WAYYYYY too big for me. So, thanks to a few of you sisters (Joey and Jen, I'm looking at you!) I have a thing or 2 that will suffice, but I needed a few more items, so off I went. I'm sure that there's one or two of you who have been in the position of desperately NEEDING some rather specific item of clothing in a specifically short amount of time. What always (ALWAYS) happens? You go out to the mall, you hit the few stores available to the fatties, you find nothing, and you go home all sweaty, stressed out and disappointed, right?

NOT TODAY!!!!

Today, THIS fatty found not one...not two, but THREE skirts at the Old Navy! And one of them was a size (are you sitting down??) 16!!!! Ok, it was a little poofy, and ok, the size 18 in a different style skirt also fit, and it was a little tight...but STILL! Can I get a what what?? Oh and might I also mention they were all in the clearance section and I didn't pay more than $5 for any of them? Sweet baby Jeebus!

So then, because I felt that I MUST (and also because my mother needed to hit the new Bath and Body Works that just opened in the local mall but we couldn't find it so we had to wander the whole entire mall - it was literally the last thing we found...but I digress...) I went into the fat lady store. And want to know what I found there? A whole lot of tops that would have been A) WAY too big, and B) made me look like I was pregnant. Oh, and also, they were all like $50. So what I'm saying here is that, had I still been a 4X or a 5X, not only would I have found a bunch of crappy, ugly shit, I'd have paid WAY too much for it. Yeah...walking out of the fat lady store with nothing in my hand...it was niiiiice. I might have had a little skip in my step. I might...MIGHT...have even sashayed a little. Maybe. :P

And that...THAT...is my story :)

For Barbara

My heart is broken for you. When I met you in Chicago, although I knew that you and Mark were battling his cancer together, your amazing positive spirit and your brilliant smile were all I saw. Your bravery is inspirational! I hope you find comfort in the huge outpouring of love I'm seeing for you in blogland.

I've heard this poem many times over the years, and it always comforts me. I hope that you find some too.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Dear Everybody:

My question to you guys is this: How do I get out of the habit of, every time I walk into the kitchen, popping something into my mouth? It's ridiculous! Every single time I walk into the kitchen...or through it...or near it...it's like I'm programmed to hunt for food and eat it. Even if it's just one rice cracker. Why?? Help!

Yummy, A Little Spicy, And Band Friendly

Yesterday, I made a couple of new veggie Indian recipies...and they were yummy! One of them was particularly band friendly, so I thought I'd share it, because it was also really yummy and super filling! I had to go to the Asian supermarket to find the chick pea flour, but it's so worth it, because it makes these really crispy, and also bumps up the protien.

Sweet Potato Cakes

2 cups of cooked sweet potato (it said to peel, but I didn't because there's so much nutrition in the skin, but I did chop it up before I cooked it)
1/2 cup chick pea flour
1 tablespoon garam masala
1 tablespoon finely chopped ginger
1/4 cup chopped cilantro (I'm a fan of cilantro, and next time I'm going to put more in)
a pinch of salt and pepper
pinch dried chili flakes (optional-I didn't put any in because the kids were eating them, but next time, for me, I'm putting lots in!)
2 tablespoons plain yogurt
2 tablespoons grapeseed oil for frying in (you can heat grapeseed oil to a higher heat than other oils, which gives these a nice crispy crust)

Directions
1.Mash the sweet potatoes in a bowl and then add chickpea flour, garam masala, ginger, cilantro, salt and pepper and yogurt. Mix well until a thick dough forms.

2.Heat oil in a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat, form dough into small patties and fry them a few at a time so they have plenty of room in the pan, working in batches. Cook for about 2 to 3 minutes on each side, until they are golden and crispy and cooked through. Remove to a rack to cool slightly and then serve with mango chutney. I used a store bought one.

I had lots leftover, and I've been snacking on them today - they are tastier the next day, but not crispy anymore. I have a feeling I'm going to be making these a LOT!

Um...what???

I saw this on one of my friends' FB pages...and it just made me go "whaaaaa???" I don't know if this is for real or what...but somehow I bet it is.

Sadly, it's probably the only benefit that exists for those of us who weigh more than 350lbs. Oh the irony!

Surreal and confusing...and so I share.

My "big girl" fill does not seem to have kicked in yet. Grrr. Although, that said, I'm not hungry at this moment, and I'm sitting here drinking green tea while the hubs is out tobogganing with the boys. I would have gone, but I don't have any snow pants. And yes...snow pants ARE on the list of things that I'd probably be able to squeeze my ass into now...I just haven't been proactive. Also, I prefer inside. And let's not forget how lazy I am :)

How I Spent My "GillyisaHotBitchAversary"

Cleaning. Up. Barf.

Yeah.

At about 3:15 pm, my adorable 4 year old son is sitting playing a wii game. He stands up, covers his mouth with the hand that has the wii remote in it, turns around, and projectile vomits all over the sofa and the floor. Before I have a second to even register what I've just seen, he turns 45 degrees and does it AGAIN! By now I'm off the couch, and rushing over to him just in time for him to turn another 45 degrees and do it again. Clearly the child has learned much from all the repeated viewings of "The Exorcist". By now, I'm desperately trying to get him to the bathroom, and he's freaking out on me because he doesn't want to go (of course not? Why puke in the toilet when the living room rug is so much nicer?) I clean up what I can, and my mother brings me her carpet cleaner (can I get a what what for moms? Except for Read's MIL because, evidently, she sucks) and I steam clean. About 3 seconds after I finish this, my older son calls up to me, because apparently it's the same scene all over again in the basement. Arg.

Not exactly how I'd hoped to spend my celebratory day (hubs brought me a peanut butter and chocolate pie when he came home. Yeah yeah I know...shush) but thankfully, little Regan's head has stopped spinning around, and he's fine now. I kept him home from school for good measure, but it seems to have been a 2-room-puke phenomenon. Good times.

HOWEVER...I needed to share how amazing my BFF is! I'm sure you'll recall me mentioning that she's the most supportive person in the whole world, and has been the BEST cheerleader for me this year, and tireless listener about all things weight loss related (and treasured blog reader)! I could absolutely NOT have done this without her, and she sent me THESE!!!

I adore her beyond words! I wish everyone had a friend like her!

Last item up for bids: got a fill today. And the nurse was the same nurse who did my surgery! I get the feeling that January isn't a super busy time for surgeries. Anyway, she was great and gave me .3 of a cc, which is .2 more than they normally give! So we shall see if this helps kick start me again!

Skinny vibes accepted and appreciated :)

Whoops...sorry...THIS is the last thing (but SO not the least thing!!) Thank ALL you guys who commented on the vlog, and ALLLLL of you who have been my support system this year. I don't know where I'd be without you, but I KNOW I wouldn't be 112 lbs down! All my love and appreciation for being there for me and listening to/reading all my crazy/bitchy/grouchy/winey/whiney/frenetic/bitchy!

Gilly out!