The Truth Is:

I've been eating like crap for the past few days. Wanna know what I've noticed?  I also FEEL like crap.  What a freakin' co-incidence!

Why don't I REMEMBER this? Why is it the second I see a Pringles container, the hard-earned knowledge that eating good food makes me feel good completely falls out of my brain?  Why is it not until I've eaten the whole can of Pringles and I'm feeling gross and horrible, and the next morning when I wake up all puffy and gross from all the salt that I remember again?

November 1st, I'm starting a weight loss challenge at work AND my fitness club membership starts. I'm sick of sitting on the fence. I'm sick of this plateau.

Damn you, Pringles! (That's right...I blame the Pringles. I know I know...shhhh)

Last night, I was in a play...

...the play is called "White Rabbit, Red Rabbit"; the play is written by Nassim Soleimanpour. It was the most amazing experience, and I am so honoured to have been chosen to act it!

Too bad I can't tell you about it.

I solemnly swore at the beginning of the performance, just before the producer of the show handed me the script for this play that I knew nothing about and had never seen before, that I wouldn't tell what it's about.  But I can tell you this:

If it comes to your city, DO NOT MISS IT!!!

You can search it on the interwebs...but you won't find much.  Something I found, just to give you a little hint of what it is (although it's so SO much more!!) is this:

Imagine being 29 and unable to leave your country. Iranian Nassim Soleimanpour dissects the experience of a whole generation in a wild, utterly original play. He turns his isolation to his advantage with a play that requires no director, no set, and a different actor for each performance. Volcano Theatre co-produced the world premiere of White Rabbit, Red Rabbit in 2011, shown simultaneously at SummerWorks and Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It is now playing around the world.

I want you guys to find it in your cities. And I want you to experience it. Please say you will!

You're welcome!

I'm So Full Of Crap...

...and Coffee Crisp...and Aero bars...and Kit Kat...and some awesome, orgasmic, chocolate covered, caramel filled cookies that were at my mum's house...and crusty bread with cheese...and a Starbucks pike place roast with lots of REAL cream in it.  What the hell, man!? And I can't even blame hormones, because I just finished...you know.  And I'm not particularly stressed.  I guess I'm just a fat girl. Which sucks.

Finally...FILL!!

Ok...now I'm serious! I got my fill at long last. Just .1 of a cc, but I am confident this is going to fix me right up. With BOOBs motivation, friend motivation, and challenge motivation, I am going to crack this plateau wide open!!! My goal this week is to eat slowly. 20 chews per bite, complete with counting (silently inside my head so people don't think I'm crazy(er)) Onward and downward, my loves!

So this week. . .

...I started getting excited about BOOBs. Maybe it's because deadlines are getting closer. Maybe it's because Jenny did a post (with pics!!!!) on the BOOBs blog (which I'd link you to but I'm on an iPad, and I'm too lazy to figure out how to do it). So my excitement brought a thought to my head, and that thought was: "oh crap, BOOBs is getting close...I need to start really working at losing"... Which seems to have made my body go into fat-girl-imminent-starvation mode, and basically I've been eating like someone's gonna take it away from me. I had to reschedule my fill, which could be part of it, but I'm going to say its a small part. Why do we sabotage ourselves? Arg! So I'm joining the BOOBs challenge, fill is scheduled, and today I bought a WagJag thingie for some green coffee bean supplements that Dr Oz has sworn to me will change my life and the fat will literally drop off me. Uh huh. We shall see...

Living In Fear

Since I've started this journey, I've learned a lot from all of you. And one of the main things I've learned is that I never want to be too tight! I've been really conservative with fills, and I have to be absolutely SURE I need one before I make an appointment...and then once I do, I obsess about it and worry that this one will make me too tight (even though my clinic is awesome and they totally listen to what you tell them and give teeny fills). Right now, I know I need one. I'm taking my one cup of food to work, and because I now have set eating times, I know for certain that I'm not getting anywhere near 4 hours before I'm hungry. Sometimes I'm as little as 2.5 hours before my tummy is growling. Also, I never get stuck, or even uncomfortable...so I'm pretty sure I'm safe from the dreaded 'too-tights'. And still...I worry. Tomorrow I'm doing some cooking ahead, so I'm good for the week. Lots of organic protein and veggies (I'm growing kale in my garden and it's ready!! Kale salad for me this week!) My fill is set for Tuesday, and it's going to set me up. I want to be down 20 lbs for the weddings I have in October. That's my plan! Wish me luck!

Oh Right! I Have A Blog!

I'm at work! That's a weird thing to type. I remember years ago, slow weekends, before I knew blogging was even a thing, where I'd write things down longhand (and then tear them up later), and I always started like that: I'm at work.

What's new? Well...the work thing, although I'm nearly a month into it already. I truly have to say that I'm loving it. My colleagues are really great, the dynamic seems to be fantastic, and I honestly look forward to going to work. I've been bringing my own food every day...no fast food runs...even when one of the FDAs (funeral director's assistants) asks me what I want and he'll go get it, I'm saying NO!  So with all my awesome choices (chicken tortilla soup sans cheese or tortillas, spinach salads, chicken breasts with salsa,all one cup servings), and the physicality of my job, and the fact that when I'm home, I have so much less time to sit around, you'd think the weight would be falling off me, right?

Wrong.

It's times like this that frustrate me. I'm doing everything right (ok, I could be drinking less wine, but I've totally upped my intake of water and green tea, so that balances it out, right??) and the scale doesn't move.  Bright side: the scale isn't moving UP. But if I'm doing this much awesome just to maintain? Ugh...that sucks.

I need to add some exercise to this mix. But when? Between kid activities, and my own activities, and work...when do I have time to throw weights and cardio into the mix?  But it's on my mind. A lot!

What do you other working moms do??