Did I Tell You I'm In A Play?

So...way back in June or something, on a whim, I went and auditioned for a play. Just a community theatre production (although I live in a pretty big city, with a very well established theatre community). I went with a girlfriend, more as moral support than anything...I wasn't even sure I'd read. But I did. And I got the part! I'm playing Cookie Cusack in Neil Simon's "Rumors". A few of you already know this, and I made sure I told Tessie Rose in Chicago, because she is a superstar and I aspire to be just like her! Anyway...I've spent a good chunk of August, September and October rehearsing. We were to open last week. But that didn't happen.

There were "problems" with the theatre, and City workers complained, and long story short, they had to do a bunch of repairs before we could open. And so, we missed our opening week. We actually weren't sure we'd be able to open at all, which would have been super disappointing. However, by some miracle, we were able to get into the theatre yesterday, got the set built in mere HOURS, and today, we will do our tech/dress rehearsal for tomorrow's opening! So I'm letting myself start to get a little excited!

I haven't been on stage since high school. It was something I LOVED doing, but would never have considered any longer in the body I used to be living in. And now look! I've been bitten by the acting bug once again...I think I'm infected for life this time! And I'm pretty damn happy about it!

Losing My Belt Virginity

Ok...so in Chicago, the lovely Shannon gave me this super cool dress right off her back! And I loved it and was so genuinely thrilled...it's currently holding the titles of Most Favourite AND Most Badass item of clothing I own! And with it, she gave me a belt? A WHAT?? Fat chicks don't wear BELTS! Do they??

YES THEY MOTHEREFFING DO!!!

I think, although I'm not sure...I'm pretty sure though...(what??) that I'm going to turn into a belt whore! And I love it! I turned a semi-crappy $7 Gap top into a totally HOT stylish top in 2 seconds! Why have I been running from belts my whole life? Oh...right...because of morbid obesity. Ok...but now I have a waist! Also, wearing a belt makes my boobs look bigger! WIN WIN!

From now on, I will be running TOWARDS belts. Like that scene from Little House on the Prairie, where Mary is running towards her true love, and it's all in slow motion, and her hair is golden and flying behind her? And her true love is running towards her, arms outstretched, and you know when they finally reach each other, everything is going to be beautiful and perfect! Well that's gonna be me. And belts. Yep.

Thank you Shannon!!!!

Hey Other Mommy Bloggers...

I have this awesome friend, and she's a fellow blogger...amongst other awesome things...and I know her from WAYYYY back in my WW days. She was amazingly successful and lost much more weight than I did using weight watchers! Well now she has a funny little blog and I invite you to check it out! Thanks, angels!

Victory Boots!!

Some years ago, I was online shopping, as one does when she is a big fatty and finds it tiring and sweaty wandering around actual stores (although I still spend WAY too much time online shopping, in spite of my current significantly-less-sweaty status). Because all miracles can be found on the interweb, I discovered that they make knee high boots with wider calves! I decided to take a chance, and I ordered a pair. They arrived, and I was delighted to find that, with the help of some plyers, they zipped up!! I loved those boots as though they were a third, somewhat more stylish child.

Last year, I put them on, and...*horrors!!!*...they were too big around the calves! After my initial delight that I'd gone from having to use plyers to get them done up to having to wear extra thick socks just so my legs didn't slide around in them, I was sad, because come on! BOOTS!

Today I was in Marshalls (from whence all good things come), and it's fall, which means it's BOOT season! And there I saw these really adorable black boots with a do-able heel...and after I had wiped the drool off my chin, I started to walk away, knowing that visions of those boots would be dancing in my head for weeks. And then I heard a little voice in my head. It was Deb! She was saying "just try them on! They'll do up! They'll fit!" And because Deb is very insistent, and also often right (and also magical), I tried them on.

THEY FIT!!!! (did you hear the angels singing? There were definitely angels singing!)

And I bought them! Even though I am totally broke, and it will mean my children will be eating Kraft Dinner for a couple of weeks (they were only $50...don't call child protective services just yet), the victory boots are mine! And they are HOT! Yay!

I Am A Happy, Confident Fat Girl!

And this article is a fantastic insight as to why! No matter what size I ever get to be, I will ALWAYS be a fat girl. And I'm good with that.

The Reason I Will Probably NOT Be Losing Weight This Week

You ever have a week where you eat perfectly, and drink EXACTLY the right amount of water, and exercise, and you can't WAIT to get on the scale because you KNOW you're gonna have a loss?

Well, my friends...this was NOT that week.

You know how some people are all: I eat small portions, and I never eat junk food...I have no IDEA why I'm fat!!?

I'm not that girl.

I know EXACTLY why I'm fat. I love to eat. Even now. I love it. Better than sleeping, better than sex (I know...you didn't expect THAT, right??) I think about food (this week, specifically, WINGS!!) and I plan for it, and often I feel ripped off because I know that real estate is limited now, so I can't eat as much as my clearly-descended-from-starving-people brain tells me I need to eat. And so, obviously, there is inner turmoil.

Sometimes, "Virtuous Gilly" wins! And other times, "Evil Fatty Gilly" sees a sign that says Deep Fried Mars Bars, and it's all over. That happened this week.

Damn you, carny food!

This is my cautionary tale: don't go to the place where they deep fry EVERYTHING (have you ever had deep fried butter? Me either, but I considered it! I also considered the deep fried Oreo, a deep fried Twinkie, and deep fried COLA. Yes I did!) with money in your pockets (or a fatty mother who has money in hers)! It is bad bad bad!!! For your ass, I mean. The mouth part of me was pretty stinkin' happy for a while there...

The BOOBs Questionaire Thingie - Gilly Style!

1. How did you pick your blog name?

Family Guy. Didja see the Star Wars episode? The first one? "something something something daaaark side"? Well...that. I actually figured I'd change it to something clever(er), but then it grew on me like a mofo!

2.When did you start blogging?

December 2009 as I started being terrified of the surgery and the experience.

3. Theme of blog (weight loss, family, circus clowns, sci-fi, erotica, fly fishing, doll collecting, star wars, etc)

WONDER WOMAN!!! But she's a fatty!!!! WOOO!!! And just me being a general a-hole. :)

4. Did you go to BOOBs 2010?

YEAH I DID! And it was seriously life changing!! You are amazing women, and there's not a day that goes by that some little nugget of wisdom that one of you has shared doesn't save me on some level. I'm still totally blown away that so many women from so many different places have found SO MUCH common ground! Mind blowing! Thank you, interwebs!!!!

5. When were you banded?

January 12, 2010

6. How much have you lost?

Bouncing (apparently neverendingly) right now between 118 and 120 lbs down. And miraculously...still a fatty!

7. What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?

Seeing all my fine fine bitches!! And meeting some of you who I know shall become my fine fine bitches over wine/margaritas and drag queens, etc.

8.What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?

OMG! This is a blog entry in itself. I basically want to motorboat a few fine bitches (they know who they are), and drink some wine, and just be me. Because you guys make me love who I am when I'm with you!

9.Children? Pets?

I have 2 stunningly gorgeous sons (seriously...you can't even look at them for long, they are THAT good looking!) who are brilliant and hilarious (and BUGGING ME RIGHT NOW LEAVE MUMMY ALONE SHE IS BLOGGING!!!), and one black cat who poops wherever he wants and is apparently going to live forever. *sigh*

10. Who is your roomie?

Wait for it...because you are going to be SOOOO jealous!!! Are you waiting? Can you stand it?? Maybe you should sit down. Are you ready?? I get DEB AND JOEY!!!! Three...oh, it's a magic number, ladies!! Yeah...you can touch me...I'm real...

11. What day do you arrive?

Thursday! MORNING! Like 10ish. So anyone flying into O'Hare around then...let's share a cab!! Yes?

12. What airport/flight/time?

See frantic answer above...

13.What events are you signed up for?

Drag Queens! Gilly loves her cross dressing boys! Other than that, I am flying by the seat of my ample pants (or dresses, as I rarely-if-ever wear pants). Wheeeeee!

14.Hobbies?

Solving other people's problems, allowing people buy me presents, yelling at my children and embarrassing them whenever humanly possible, watching other people cook, belly dancing, theatre (that's new! Watch this space!), hoarding.

15. Career?

Professionally, I'm a funeral director, but at the moment, I'm just directing my children to put the DAMN LAUNDRY IN THE HAMPER SWEET JESUS! So...stay at home mommy, I guess. Again I say whee.

16. Single? Married? In a relationship?

I live here with the baby daddy, yes I do. And he's not a bad dude, if I do say so. Good German genes. I would say I'm also in a relationship with red wine. We're very intimate...

17. Your birthday month?

September 27, so buy me birthday drinks! Yeah, I said it! :P

18. What do you want other BOOBs to know about you?

If you don't know it already and love me in spite of it, you're dead to me! ROCK ON!!!*hugs*!!!