WTF Wednesday? Why the f--- not??

Wanna know what the suckiest thing on the planet is? Ok well maybe it's not the suckiest...but it's way up there in Sucktown! It's when you're at Marshalls, and you're in the plus sizes, and you're sifting through all the 1x's and XLs, and everything is tent-ish and godawful...and then you flip to the next thing and it's SOOO cute, and you're like "finally! The perfect thing!!" and then you look and notice that someone shoved a size 4 into the fat rack. WTF, right?????

That said, I did buy a few cute things. I'm already shopping in preparation for Chicago, if you can believe it! I bought a dress in a size 16 (that I'm not even sure if I love, but it was a size 16 so I just had to!) and a couple of tops. I hope that I have not ballooned by September and can show y'all my cute stuff. Not that I'm planning on ballooning...but I've had a couple of rough, Hoover-like days, so I was feeling a little down. Hopefully, fitting into the size 16 was skinny-ass affirming enough to let me break the cycle.

Aaannnnddd...last thing...in case you missed it, the review is in for my show; here's the link, if you are so inclined: http://www.theifp.ca/whats-on/review-glts-looking-is-a-fun-play/

It's Opening Night!

My play opens tonight! I'm kind of freaking out. Dress rehearsal went ok...except having people actually laugh at stuff made me completely forget every word I've ever learned in the English language ever.

I need all the help I can get, ladies and germs...wish me to break things!

Riddle me this...

Can someone please tell me why I don't love exercise the way I love, say, Doritos or Pad Thai? Or really awesome, crusty bread with yummy, melty French cheese? Or red wine?? Ok...I'll stop now, but just so you know, I could literally go on for paragraphs (oh!! Hot wings...can't leave out hot wings!)

I know I feel great after exercising. I know it's good for me! I know it will make me stronger and increase my endurance for the fun stuff...if you know what I'm sayin' and I think that you do *wink*. There have even been times in my life where I've actually been...dare I say it...addicted to exercise! (gasp!!) So why is THAT addiction so easy to overcome?? Huh? I mean seriously...if reality TV ever needs the Dr. Drew of how to overcome your addiction to exercise, I'm so their girl! I will cure EVERYBODY! There will be tears, and relaxation, and naps, and couching, internet surfing and catching up on every TV show anybody ever said something positive about EVER! I could be the Jillian Michaels of teaching everybody to be a lazy butthole, making people cry and throw up delicious snacks to make room for more delicious snacks. I would be super famous!

Stupid, effed up Universe.

Sweating My Ass Off In March???

And not in the 'I'm working out so hard!' kinda way? What the hell is it with this heat...HEAT in MARCH??? And I live in Canada! Land of the igloo, etc. I know that come Wednesday, I'm going to be turning on the AC. In March. In CANADA. What?? Does this make anyone else feel like maybe the Mayans were right? Yikes!

Right now, I'm making a big pot of chicken tortilla soup in my slow cooker (which would have been nicer if the weather was actually March-like! Sheesh!). It seems to be my current pull-my-fat-ass-out-of-the-junk-food-tornado food. I can portion it out and eat it all week long. Sans tortillas, because those, although knee-bucklingly delicious, add like 200 calories to an otherwise healthy food (not to mention sodium!), and really...I don't need them. I do, however, top it with Monterey jack cheese - which is something fairly new up here - and hello! Melty, stretchy HEAVEN!! Why have you people been keeping it secret? Trying to keep it all for yourselves? Ah, who could blame you? That shit is crazy good!

Updating my life...well...I wrote about New York City...which was grand. I can't wait to go back, and when I win the lottery, I'm getting an adorable place in Greenwich Village, and spend endless days wandering the city and hanging in Manhattan, cursing the tourists. It's gonna be sweet!

Other than that, I'm pretty wrapped up in rehearsals for my play. It's really coming together, and I think it's going to be great! My worries about making out with a strange boy on stage were for nothing...he's awesome, and although I'm still a giggling idiot when I have to do it in front of everyone, it's all coming together! I'm so so glad that I got back into theatre! I had no idea how much I'd missed it! I'm very grateful that I got it back!

Hey! Here's an idea! I think everybody should post their go-to 'getting back on the wagon' food! When you know you've been being bad, what is your food that you make to get you back into healthy eating? I wanna know!! Comment, or, even better, blog about it!

Sofie's Choice

Today I went to meet Sofie! She's newly banded, and she took me out for lunch at the lovliest little cafe in the town where she lives (and did NOT get stuck! Yay Sofie!) Totally worth the drive! We talked non-stop over lunch, and then she took me on a tour of where she works...and THEN we looked at each other's tummies and she felt my port in the middle of Main Street. How's THAT for a Hallmark moment? It would have been truly beautiful...if she hadn't gone "ew!" and made a face. Seriously though, it was so nice to meet her in person after talking to her on the phone so many times (oooh! And she brought me flowers!!) I love a little pre-BOOBs excitement, because she IS going to BOOBs 3.0, and you are going to adore her!

Oooh...and also...I wore SHORTS (well...skort, but still...) and SANDALS! Yes that's right...feet unsheathed in MARCH! Dear Global Warming: you terrify me. However, my Fred Flintstone feet...they terrify us all!

NYC Makes Me Miss Kristin and Joey!

I've been having such a blast in NYC the past couple of days! I got a tour of 30 Rock from hubs' cousin who works for MSNBC, and met Alex Wagner, saw Martin Bashir and Cee Lo Green...took secret pictures of the SNL studio even though I wasn't allowed, went up the Empire State Building (which my 5 year old has been calling the Vampire State building...which frankly, I prefer) and today...(deep breath!) went to Central Park to see Strawberry Fields and to see the Dakota. Honestly, such a moving place to see for me (huge Beatles fan, huge Lennon fan, although George is my favourite). This afternoon we're off to Greenwich Village to meet hubs' aunt who is rather a famous literary agent, and see her office, and then to her place for dinner! Phew! There's more, but really, haven't you heard enough?

All this has been awesome, but it makes me miss Kristin and Joey, who I was here with at almost exactly this time last year! It's made me realize how incredible it is to be shown around the city by people who KNOW where they're going and who know cool places to see. I guess you never forget your first, right?

And...off I go to have more fun!

I Don't Ever Want To Hit Goal

I just decided this. Just now. I think I'm going to set my goal lower. All this time it's been 170. And trust me...I'm nowhere near there! But...I think I'm going to set it lower. Because I can't ever stop fighting. I'm actually not sure I ever want to even hit 'onederland'. Because if I do, that will feel too much like a super-victory. And if I feel victorious...I might stop fighting. And tonight I realized...I never want to stop fighting this fight. I've fought it my whole life...and I LIKE being a fat chick. I just didn't like being as fat a fat chick as I got to be.

I want to be a chubby chick.

I want to feel good, and be healthy, and I don't want to stop fighting. Not ever.

NOT EVER!!!