My tree (et al.) should have been taken down last weekend. But I'm lazy and I didn't. And then I also didn't during the week. And so now it's THIS weekend, and the tree is still there...staring at me...daring me to take it down. So I'm going to. After I do some laundry. And clean my bathrooms. And watch some shows I PVR'd. And blog. But what to blog about?
I tend to try to say away from what I consider "negative" blog posts. Which doesn't mean that I run from blogs when I'm struggling...I just don't necessarily blog about it. Because I don't want to bring anyone down. But right now, I'm struggling a bit. Not gaining...just not losing...and I'm worrying that I've lost momentum.
And sooo...this week, I think I might go back to journaling my food, like I did in the beginning. I've also got a fill scheduled for the 13th. I SO didn't want to be the girl who schedules a fill after the holidays, but I know I need one. My life is much more ruled by food than it usually is. I'm generally NOT eating more than I should...but I totally know I could. And I'm actively seeking out people who I know will enable my eating of crap, and that is NOT cool. And so, I broke down and scheduled the fill. I haven't had one since October, so I feel like it's not outrageous...I'm just worried they're going to give me a hard time because of the timing. Bah. I'm also considering joining a gym again. But I HATE HATE HATE spending money on gym memberships, because I hate that nagging guilt I feel when I make excuses to myself about why I can't go. You know the excuses...you don't "feel well" or you have something to do that you know could totally wait, but you HAVE to do it right when zumba class is scheduled. Yeah. I hate lying to myself. I can so see right through me.
Ok, SO! This week I will:
*Stick to protein and veggies.
*Exercise to make myself SWEAT at least 3x (Jillian, you bitch...here I come)
*Measure my food
*NOT graze
*No wine on weekdays (do you hear that sound? It's my heart breaking)
Also, the 12th is the one year mark of my surgery. I SO wanted to be at 120 down so I could be like Amy W...but I'm 99.99999999% sure it's not going to happen. I was almost there, but *BOUNCE* and I'm not anymore. But I WILL get there, and it'll be soon. And then 130 down...and so on and so on and so on...
Sounds like you have a good plan in place my friend (except for the no wine part...what are you thinking!!!)
ReplyDeletewe have an elliptical in our spare bedroom and I still find other stuff to do. so dont feel bad.
ReplyDeleteGood plan Gilly...you can do this.
ReplyDeleteMe too. Same boat. But I know you can kick butt so we'll all follow along with you and get this weight loss started again.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Gilly! We are here for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you - totally stagnant right now. Get your fill, who cares what time of year it is or what the office says? If you need it you need it. You'll get to 120 on your timetable.
ReplyDeleteI still have the tree up too. I was supposed to take it down on Friday, and then tomorrow, but that's not going to happen either, and then I get banded on Wed so it will probably be up for a few more weeks, and I'm OK with that lol. I'm also looking for a gym, and I definitely need a 24 hour one! Good luck on your goals, i'm sure you can do it!
ReplyDeleteGilly sounds like a great plan!
ReplyDeleteHey I just took my tree down this weekend - and I can't even take credit b/c my husband did it all. So I totally get that. I also like that you're taking charge and getting the fill when you see things stalling. You're a success already - I'm looking forward to reading more success from you!
ReplyDeleteYou'll get there before you know it!! I have faith in you, but you need to have faith in yourself :) Trust me, you have been rockin' the weight loss and look fabulous. Don't worry about the procrastination, I just took my tree down today!! Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteSo my 3 cents worth.. focus on you.. screw what people think, feel, say.. Your needs are what is important right now.. as far as motivation.. try going back and reading what you were doing when you were totally in the WL zone and try to recreate that aura.. and don't worry about that tree.. in 11 months or so it will be back in vogue
ReplyDeleteYou can do it lady-face! Don't worry about going for a fill, when I had my last post-op (every time I write that I feel like a tranny, haha) on Thursday the waiting room at the SWLC had quite a few people who, ahem, looked like bandsters needing fills.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it. I consider anything but gaining over the holidays a major victory!
Your post brought it home for me. I'm in the same boat and ironically going to the doctor on the 13th. I can tell I'm falling off of the protein wagon and food is starting to consume my thoughts again. Thanks for solidifying to me that yes - I probably do need that little tweak.
ReplyDeleteI'm confused. I thought 'that sound' was the sound of doves crying.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Gillybeane! I think your plan is perfect.
I'm in the same boat too, as far as standing still right now. My one year mark is in March, unless I cut off a leg, I'll never make the goal I set for myself when I started out. You, however, have super hero powers, you can do this! And when the mojo hits, full force, please share!
ReplyDeleteWe can't all be Mary Poppins. You have an excellent plan and I'm going to hold you to it!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I should totally do the no wine on weekdays with you! And I WILL... starting tomorrow (halfway through my evening glass now).
ReplyDeleteGO GILLY GO !!!
Don't let fill-shame keep you from getting what you need! You can be proud that you are being proactive about your band. It's a good strategy to either stay away from the enablers -- or just make up a food plan in your mind before you see them. . and then stick to it.
ReplyDeleteOn the gym front, if you get in a good groove and get yer bootie in there, you won't feel any guilt! I know how hard that is (since I wasted like 6 years worth of gym money before I got banded), but now that you are lighter, working out is going to be different than it was before, and it's just going to keep getting easier as you continue to lose.
I'm rooting for you, Gillykins!! Sending you love and a kick in the patootie!
Be strong and stick w/ what you CAN do.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to join a gym just for the guilt factor - I have zero time for it and no patience for the other people there, lol.
You're doing great-- there are inevitable slow downs and even stalls.. but overall: a great first year!!
ReplyDeleteGeez, now you made me feel guilty for all my whiny posts. Sounds like a fill is what you need.
ReplyDelete