I Lost 76 Pounds In Six Months! I'm Going To ZOMBIELAND!!

Well kids...it's been six months.  Six months ago right now, I was probably fairly uncomfortable...terrified to eat anything...and wondering what was going to happen next.  I've learned a lot of things in the six months that's pretty much flown by, so I thought it might be fun to share some of it with y'all.

Last night, as I watched Zombieland for the eleventeenth time, I realized that the rules of living with the band are not unlike the rules of Zombieland.  It's time to nut up or shut up!

Rule #1:  Cardio - Yes kids...cardio is important, whether you're trying to lose weight, or outrun a zombie.  In the first few months of this, I would have told you with certainty that I would never exercise.  Gilly doesn't like to move...or get sweaty.  However...the further into this I got, the less afraid I got of moving.  And now I wear my sweat with pride.  I'll even wipe it on you if you get too close.  One thing is for sure:  THIS fatty isn't going to be one of the first ones eaten during the inevitable zombie apocalypse!

Rule #2 - The Double Tap - well...as far as zombie movies go, that's giving up that one extra bullet to make sure your undead friend is...well...no longer undead.  Well, since I got my band...I've double tapped a lot of food.  You know...that bag of chips that I bought in a moment of insanity when my inner fat girl told me that it would be ok just to buy one, and that we could control ourselves and portion it out and not binge (she is such an effing LIAR!)  Sometimes, you just have to commit some food murder in this business.  Sometimes that means dumping stuff in the garbage and covering it with other gross crap.  Sometimes it gets gory.  I may go to hell for some of the crimes I've committed against delicious, unsuspecting food...sometimes it keeps me up at night...but mostly, I'm ok with it.

Rule # 3 - Beware of Bathrooms - you know...this is just good practice, I don't care who you are.

Rule # 4 - Seatbelts - again, good practice...but hello!  How much more room is there when I put my seatbelt on now??  And sooo much space between me and the steering wheel.  Right???

Rule # 17 - Don't Be A Hero - When I'm having a tough time...I come to my blogger friends.  Or to one of the few real life friends who know about this whole band business and who can support me.  I'm not doing this on my own...and I am super grateful for that!

Rule # 18 - Limber Up - Stretching is important, whether you're killing zombies or killing fat cells.

Rule # 22 - When In Doubt, Know Your Way Out - When I go out for dinner, I try, if at all possible, to go online and check the menu beforehand.  If they have nutritional information, even better!  And I usually order asking for half to be served to me on the plate and the other half put in a take-away container so there's no chance I will injure myself on all the deliciousness that I didn't have to cook.

Rule # 31 - Check The Back Seat - I don't know how this applies to weight loss...but I can fit in any back seat now because MY back seat is shrinking...so yay!

Rule # 32 - Enjoy The Little Things - Every NSV is important.  Something new happens every day...something that you couldn't do yesterday, or some piece of clothing that fits now that you never thought you'd squeeze your fat ass into ever again...and every single one of those moments is a bit of fried gold!  So get to know your inner cheerleader!  You can call her "Gilly"!

And remember kids...a little sunscreen never hurt anybody.