This weekend has seen a lot of me being really hungry. And at the same time, terrified to eat anything because man, 1000 calories or less really adds up FAST! And at the same time, wanting to eat everything in sight because of the starving-ness. Today, in an effort to escape my family on family day (oh the irony), I went to Shopper's Drug Mart and found myself in front of the potato chip wall, dreaming of putting a bag of Doritos or tube of Pringles in my cart. It was almost as though I was mesmerized. I actually don't remember leaving the aisle. But I know that at some point I did. Without a bag or tube of anything snacky and delicious. Which is a total NSV...but man, I'm getting tired of being starving. Or at the very least, tired of being starving without seeing HUGE movement on the scale. I think I need to stop watching The Biggest Loser, and have some more realistic expectations. The numbers are coming down...I just wish I wasn't obsessing over eating all the time.
I wanted to say thanks to TracyZ who nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger award...SO flattered! I WILL follow the rules and pay it forward, but I wanted to get this stuff down first :)
You know - I totally hear you on the "I was gonna be that girl" front. Because that girl was going to be me ;)
ReplyDeleteWhile I give you total kudos for making it down that chip aisle without adding anything to your cart, lately I can see myself in that same aisle, ripping open a bag, and tearing through it - with chips flying everywhere and people staring at me like the lunatic I really am - until there are no more chips left to have. It's like the chip aisle is my own personal nightmare. And do you know what's totally crazy, I don't even like chips!
I think that we will both be the girl that gets some satisfaction (maybe not good restriction, but just some satisfaction) after the second fill! At least that is what I am hoping for!!
You've lost 43 pounds! Your THAT girl to me. Plus, anybody that has Wonder Woman on her blog is my idol. : )
ReplyDeleteOh Gilly, I so hoped you were that girl too. I am getting the same hunger calling. Stuck on fluids, I had a fallback and ate a handful of goldfish lastnight (or actually sucked them til they turned into liquid). I can skip the chips but wonder how I will pass the chocolate. I hope SWLC isn't stingy about when they give fills. Hope it isn't long before you can get another fill and get to that sweetspot everyone talks about.
ReplyDeleteGreat job for not getting the chips. That is a HUGE NSV!! And I bet you will get some restriction on the next fill - and even if it's not great restriction it should help with the hunger. It did for me anyway. I went for about 6 months with little to no restriction and while I could eat more than 1-2 cups of food (because of no restriction), I did stay full longer than I ever dreamed of pre-band.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, you are doing great! 43 pounds is amazing in such a short time.
If it helps, I am right there with you! Without being a bandster! I think it has to do with timing as much as anything. We've been at this a while now, you longer then me, and it's bound to get a little boring along the way. Just like any "relationship" our relationships with food are totally being transformed. As we make new habits we can't expect perfection but we can expect to start changing our old ways of thinking.
ReplyDeleteThose chips seem to be "calling" me too. Moreso it's been the french fries. Toby's chili fries to be exact! But I guess what I keep telling myself is that they aren't *really* calling me, I'm calling me. There is a reason I'm craving this crap and it could be something as simple as my diet hasn't been as balanced as it should be. It could be fear of success. People are starting to take notice of you and admire you in your everyday life. They are starting to see the thin girl inside you. Your strength and your courage. It's a big burden, or blessing, to carry. I don't know about you, but having everyone's eyes on my diet habits can send me right back to that aisle...
Ahhh...potato comfort!
I admire your willpower to try to stick to 1000 ish calories per day.
ReplyDeleteI just can't do it now-- I'm working on 1500 ish b/c I know the day will come when I have restriction and it will be easier...