Dismissed

Today was my LONG awaited appointment with the knee surgeon. I slipped on some ice last February, and it's taken until now to finally see him (thank you Canadian health care system). So in I went with my x-rays and my ultrasounds. And I was all full of hope that there might finally be an end in sight. Yeah...I was wrong to be hopeful.

What I encountered...and believe it or not, I WAS expecting this, but still it floored me when it happened...was a Dr. who was completely dismissive of me because I'm fat. What he told me, after barely examining me, was that there's nothing wrong with my knee that he can see, because he can't see the ultrasounds because of my weight. And that he can send me for an MRI of my knee, but that there's a weight limit, and I exceed it. So I told him that I'm recently banded, and I've lost over 30lbs so far, so book me for that MRI, because I'll be under the weight limit by the time - in a few months, likely - that I can get one.

I'm telling you...I am SO tired of being dismissed by the medical profession because I'm fat. I was feeling great about myself and all the stuff I've done for my own well-being in the past month or so, and today just made me feel like a big stupid fat girl, and I hate that! I sent an email to the Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons to see if they can direct me to someone who can help. There must be a watchdog group, or an ombudsman or someone who helps fat people not be ignored by the medical establishment whose only advice ever is to lose weight and then come back. There probably isn't though, because fatism is acceptable, isn't it? Seems like it is.

I was really hoping to run a 5k this year. Guess that's not happening. Grrr...arg.