Freaky Friday!

WARNING:  This post is not about weight loss, and it will probably offend you.  Hell...it offends me!  So if you want to only think warm, fluffy thoughts about Gilly, then stop reading now.  If you continue to read past this point, you have only yourself to blame.  Oh...and please don't comment that I've offended you because that will just make me cry.

You know...it MUST be full moon time, because today, everybody was letting their freak flag fly, and they were taking it down to the public pool. 

Let me tell you first of all that the public pool is never a particularly sane place to be, because it is a PUBLIC pool, and therefore is filled with the PUBLIC...which is one of the many reasons why I hate people, but that is another story altogether.

Today, I went to the gym to work out, picked up the little puddin at preschool, and we went to the pool for our little Friday swim (all in the same complex, by the way).  As we were walking in, anorexic lady was also coming in.  I've seen her there before, and when I say that she's anorexic, I'm not using a fatty term to slag off some skinny woman...she is actually anorexic.  She is ethiopian thin with big breast implants, and she swims to lose weight.  And today, she hung her dirty underwear on a peg that is intended for EVERYONE to use to hang their towels while they shower, crotch OUT.  Yeah...not happy about that at all.  But trying to be tolerant, I didn't say anything, even though there are like a bazillion lockers there for people to put their stuff in...I just made a mental note never to use those pegs again EVER, and went on with my day.  But then the lifeguard came over to me and asked me if the "children's underpants" hanging in the changeroom belonged to my son and could I please not hang them there.  So I ratted her out for everything I was worth.  And you know what happened?  Exactly nothing.  As far as I know, she's on her thousandth lap, and the underpants are crustifying there as I type this.  *shudder*

Then there was bucket man. Bucket man is a dude who I believe must have some kind of autism, because he basically just comes in, stands in the water with a yellow bucket in his hands, fills the bucket with water and pours it over his head. For an hour. Over and over and over and over. And I'm not unsympathetic...I'm not a horrible person...but this is fitness swim time and parent and child swim time. Can't we take him down to the watering hole during a public swim time where I can just avoid it?  Pretty please?

Then there was hot tub dude.  (and let me take a moment to warn you again...beyond this point is NOT for the faint of heart)  There is a whirlpool tub that attaches to the main pool.  Being in the shallow end with my kid, I was right beside the tub, and I thought it a little odd that there was a dude who was facing toward the pool, since the bench would have him sitting the other way.  And as I thought about it a little more, I wondered if he was facing the bathers because he was a pervert and looking at girls in swimsuits and ew isn't that sick...and then I realized that if he WAS doing that, the way he was facing, a big jet of water would be hitting him right in the...do you SEE where I am going with this???????????   EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!  And maybe he wasn't using the jets to get himself off in the hot tub...and maybe I'M the perverted one for even thinking it...but he stood like that for about EXACTLY as long as it would have taken for THAT to happen...and then he sat down and looked REALLY relaxed, and all I know for sure is that I am NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER E-V-E-R going in that whirlpool EVER!!!!!

There was more, but right now I am just exhausted.  I mean, I don't love the public pool...how could anyone love the public pool?  This is a pool that I went to take an aquafit class in one time and had to go home because during the public swim immediately prior, someone had puked, and I looked down just in time to see an un-chewed macaroni floating by.  It's bad.  But I don't have any other choice.  After today though...I don't know what to do?  Do I go back and try to erase the underpants crotch from my memory?  Do I try to pretend that the foam that gathers on top of the whirlpool is just mysterious bubbles with NOTHING ELSE FLOATING IN THERE??  Do I?  What do I do??